Ok then.

Working with an AIDS association is hard. At least now there’s medication readily available for these people living with HIV. Well, I wouldn’t say readily available, but it is there at the hospital most of the time. I don’t understand why these people are stuck taking a cocktail of medicine that they have to make sure to take a bunch of times a day when there are much better regiments out there. Actually, I do understand why, it’s because I’m in a country most people have never heard of and I don’t think most people really care about poor people.

I helped out with running this national camp over the summer for kids affected by HIV. Some kids had family who had HIV and some of them had the virus. It was a fun camp and a few of the kids there came from my town of Sotouboua. One boy who we nominated for the camp couldn’t make it because he got sick last minute so his little brother ended up going instead. The brother had a great time along with all the others there. After the camp I travelled a little bit before heading back to Sotouboua. It was just a little trip to see parts of the country I never saw before. Anyways, when I got back I found out that the boy we originally wanted to go to the camp had died. This was a boy I saw all the time and who came out every month to the association’s kids club. The following kids club we all went to the parent’s house to give our condolences. He was only 11. Life here gets really sad sometimes.

There is this girl that moved here from Lome back in August around the same time I got here. She moved back to her parents because she has HIV and couldn’t take care of herself down in Lome anymore. So she joined the association here and when I first saw her I saw a young, beautiful twenty-something with lots of energy and super happy. She was at the hospital the other day and it was just awful. I’ve seen her at the hospital many times before, along with others when they pick up their meds or have consultations with the HIV specialists. I remember seeing her there one time and she was really worried because she only had one dose of her ARVs left and the doctor wasn’t there to give her more. So I helped out by tracking down the right guy in town to get her the meds. These people are really awesome and I try and help when I can. Well back to the last time I saw her, she was sitting on a bench waiting at the hospital. I go up all smiles, happy to see her, and expecting to get the same reaction reciprocated. But this time she just looks super scared and so I instantly get scared. I say hi and ask what’s up. She just sits and looks at me and says she is really sick. Her mom’s next to her and says they’re waiting for the doctor. I see that her hands are just trembling. Like, uncontrollably. I still don’t know what to do/say so I ask what she has. She says she doesn’t know and continues to tremble. I say I’ll go out and find the doctor and head off. How is it when I first saw this 23 year old she was so happy and full of life and now she is like this little curled up ball of fear. I go around asking for the doctor and people eventually get the message to him. I go back to her and she starts to stand up to go see the doctor. She can’t even slip her own sandals on her feet because even her feet are shaking too much. Her mom does it for her. This is when I get weak and selfish, say good bye and get the hell out of there. I spent the rest of the day in my house with lurking thoughts of how unfair life is. Why am I going back in a year to a place that has everything, and I have friends who will stay here, get sick and die.

When I was in Senegal I was relaxing in a hotel room watching music videos, trying to catch up on my pop culture. A Lil Wayne video came on. Not sure how new or old it is. Anyways, it was about this girl who starts life all innocent, ends up having a semi-hard life and gets HIV. It is supposed to be sad, but all I thought was why is that chick worrying, she’s in America (I was also thinking why did Lil Wayne have a guitar next to him in the video, does he play? It was acoustic too. Why did he have an acoustic guitar when there wasn’t one in the song?). Probably not the right thing to be thinking. I know there is still a big problem with stigmatism and you have to change a lot of habits over there, but it’s hard to compare with what people go through here. There are just so many resources and information for people in the US.